Thursday, October 17, 2013

Let's play catch up and make some Blue Balls with ManGlaze!

Helllooooo chrildens! Again I have let months pass before dusting off the cobwebs of my little corner of the interwebz to post here. Apologizes are pithy things so I won't bother with them but know that I haven't been dwindling away doing nothing. NAY. Things have been done!

Bullet form, shall we?

-I sat for 7 hours getting my most intricate tattoo to date. I love her with all of my body.
-I had a birthday and it was MAGNIFICENT.
-On said birthday I was in Richmond, Va and jumped the fence into a penguin enclosure.  LIFE WAS COMPLETED.
-I saw my most favoritest band last week and am planning on seeing them again on the next leg of their tour.
-I was a zombie in a Zombie 5k.  Full on undead agro!
-I made my first ManGlaze franken.

NOW.  If you follow me on Instagram, @thepolishedzombie you would know all of these things. WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW ME THERE. WHY FOR NOT? Seriously though. I love my IG. I practically live on it. Right now you can see a picture of a much younger version of myself humping a traffic cone. I'm so not joking.  BUT. That's not why you're here and that's not why I'm here right now. Right now I'm here to talk about a cause very near and dear to my heart. A cause that I cannot believe hasn't been taken up  yet, a cause that is so noble, so...necessary that I, your lover of all things undead, cats, and polish and penguins, have decided it is my short term life's goal to see through. What is this great movement I seek to start? A LIGHT BLUE MANGLAZE.  You heard me. A light blue ManGlaze. Think about it.  Nawsome Sauce has ILF. Matte is Murder has Fuggen Ugly. Cabron has Mink Mittens. Fatty's Got More Blood has Fuck Off and Dye (Pink).  Royal Matterimoaning has no one. A lonely, singular shade of matte blue looking for it's paler yet just as bitching counterpart. I brought this up to Marc (Senor ManGlaze) last night on Facebook and he said I should franken one myself using Royal + Mayo. AND SO I DID. AND IT WAS GLORIOUS. I took it one step further by adding some Hot Mess to give it a little extra mattefied sparkle and goddamn, do I love it. I have named my creation Blue Balls and am here to share it with you all and to tell you that you too can have Blue Balls in your life, but even better...we can come together in the polish loving horde that we are and see if we can't get a color like this made on a grander scale. Why should there be numerous shades of Blue Balls out there, why can't we unite under a single shade of Balled Blue? This is why I am coming to you today.


I shall now regale you with pictures and explanations of how I made this particular shade of Blue Balls. Should you choose to do this your Blue Balls will not look like mine. Everyone's Blue Balls will look different unless we get a mass produced version in which we can all have matching Blue Balls blue manis. Say that five times fast.

Start with a Franken Jugg and some Mayo.  I used an entire mini bottle for this.

Mayo, Royal, and Hot Mess ready to get agitated.

Thoroughly agitated Blue Balls.

MoneyBottle shot.

Matte vs Shiny.  Beautiful Blue Balls blue either way.

Au naturale, with Hot Mess, and topcoat.  No flash and flash.

Now, if you're sitting at your screen drooling and flailing wondering where you can get this I have to tell can't. Not this exactly. BUT you can create your own version of Blue Balls, or any other color creation that your creative cranium can come up! LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 

Right now ManGlaze is having their 26.66% Off Shartdown Sale. YES. MANGLAZE ON SALE! All colors except Matte is Murder, Fuggen Ugly, and the Franken Juggs are on sale right now. And free shipping on orders over $26.66!!! I'm placing an order tomorrow for another bottle of Royal, Hot Mess, and Mayo because I need to stock up on Blue Balls supplies because I cannot live without this color in my life now. Although I'd love it if ManGlaze would make a light blue and let me continue along my zombie like ways and not have to put forth the effort of pouring and shaking myself. Go check out their sale and let them know that you too are on the side of Blue Ball colored matte polish!

All views stated here are mine and mine own.
I make no money off of this and all products
were purchased on my own accord.
I was not approached in any way to write any of the things
I have said although they're all true. EVERY LAST WORD.

And because I love her so much and this is a ManGlaze-centric post here's a pic of my newest tattoo. I'm wearing ManGlaze Nawesome Sauce and Hot Mess and the green matches perfectly. ILF would also match the lighter green. This was done by Sean at 9TATTOO. 7 hours, freehand completely custom. I love her. I'll put the reference picture beside so you can see just how amazing Sean is and how he completely took the idea I had and put his own spin on it making it completely unique. 

Bonus points if you know what this is from!!!


  1. Jen! It is freaking fabulous to see you alive/undead in this corner of teh interwebz! Rolling at the fabulous fire macro, and your Blue Balls are flipping GORGEOUS.

  2. awesome! that blue is great! and i DOOOOOOO kno what album that is! AFI! Man I used to listen to that thing so damn much back in the day....